What If It Doesn't Have To Be Difficult?

How do you look at…work, relationships, life?

A challenge?

A fight?

A struggle?

A losing proposition?

I’m not sure if it’s a “western civ” thing or a modern world thing, but often it seems we view parts of (or the whole of) our life as some type of confrontation. We go to war with life. We have to fight for what we want, conquer obstacles to happiness or success, defend against enemies who intend to take what is ours. There is always some battle to be fought.

War, rather than peace, feels like our natural state.

We are conditioned, consciously and subconsciously, to believe we are under attack and that, to win at life, we must fight for what is ours. In our jobs, our games, our politics, in nearly every aspect of our lives, we keep score so that we can label winners and losers. We do this in ways we do not even notice.

Neville Chamberlain, the somewhat infamous “peace in our time” British prime minister, is also quoted as having said, “In war, whichever side may call itself the victor, there are no winners, but all are losers.” By engaging in an act of war or conflict, we lose some part of ourselves. May sound a little mushy to modern ears. But how might we experience life differently if we take this idea to heart?

It is not uncommon for one to look back on an adversarial situation, even in victory, and feel spiritually diminished. To “pull out all the stops” or “do whatever it takes” often reveals things about ourselves that are less than flattering, that we are not who we are or want to be. Life or death situations aside (for the most part), the high of winning seldom stays with us for long. How many times have you attained some goal you thought would unquestionably change your life the better and ended up in a low spot and asking yourself, now what? There is a world of difference between winning at life and winning with life. One empties you out, one fills you up.

What if we saw life and its situations not as a battle but as an adventure that unrolled before us like a magic carpet?